dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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