Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
