yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
