you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
