You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
