I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
