i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
