My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize