suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
