Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
