im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
