All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
