did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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