no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
