Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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