Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
