please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
