I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
