Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
