Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
