I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
