she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
