Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
