Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
