He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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