i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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