I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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