I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
