I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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