what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
