I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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