I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
