sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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