I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
