nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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