C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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