We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
