What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
