Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
