We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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