I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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