Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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