Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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