What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
