I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
there is glitter all over my balls
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
