I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Shame - the story of my life.
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