But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
