That's intense
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
