If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
