Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
