So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
