Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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