Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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