I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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